If

If I killed myself today,What would people say?
Would they mourn the person they thought I was?

But she was so happy! So outgoing! So sweet!
But she did have a dark side…



I am the dark side, I don’t let you meet.

If they found me ruddy faced, coarse rope around my neck, would they say:

Well I don’t want to remember her this way. I want to remember her like she was yesterday! Her smile, her act.

Would they say: but her life was perfect?

Would they pretend I didn’t die of suicide? Would they use me for pity?
I wish they would say: she suffered, she was in pain. Her death was not in vain.

She is now dead as nothing else. More dead than air.

I wish they would they say: why didn’t we care more, love more, talk more, be more?

Because we aren’t more. This is what we are.

After I’ve died, don’t tell me what you would’ve done.

2 thoughts on “If

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