Watercolor
Tag: ocd
Watercolor DNA
Enjoy her
I’m going away a while,
My body will take my place.
Enjoy yourself.
Don’t be embarrassed,
I won’t be here to see what you’ve done.
No repurcussions
What will you do?
Who will you make me for you?
Now I’ll go and you
Enjoy her. No, really it’s fine.
LRose
Protests
My snooze alarm protests consciousness.
LROSE
The Cycling
Yesterday I slept
Today I rejoice
Tomorrow I regret
-LRose
Fucked up Dance
Love and Hatred
Dance
My chest heaves with thier
Pounding steps
The image clears
I see
Joy and Hatred are the same person
And Apathy another enemy
Fuck
I just can’t process
Clarity passes again
Electronic colors in wave
And the unnatural whir
Of the fireplace insert
I can’t crack this shell without dying
Neurotransmitters
Gauzy wings vibrate,
Norepinephrine’s flight.
Her stinger penetrates,
Norepinephrine’s fight.
Her Storybook
If want to open her storybook,
You need a saw.
Get your rib spreader and your clamps,
Your scissors perhaps.
Cut her deep
Then grab between her breasts,
Her ribs open like a book.
But if you try to read her,
Try to take a look,
There’s just guts and blood and pills.
Try her eyes
There you will see
Her story waiting.
But you can’t read that either.
-LRose
For More Poems By Me
Check out my twitter for micropoetry and misc.
@redelfrose
-LRose
“What’s Wrong With Me?”
At one point in his memoir, Daudet describes staying at a sanatorium, one of those places where everyone understands what everyone else is going through. He talks about the strange pleasure of searching for the patient whose experience of illness is most like his own. Today’s version of the sanatorium is the Internet, where you find a vaporous world of fellow-sufferers, companions in isolation and fear and frustration, as well as practitioners who have made it their life’s work to understand why a segment of the population always feels unwell. I fell into the rabbit hole, and emerged in another world, online.
Awakening
Excited and anticipation are not a morning.
Dry eyes, chapped lips, nausea, and dread.
Sudden awakening, grievance of my loss of unconsciousness
This cycle, is it my meds or my head?
I lose eventually. My heavy marionette moves.
Haiku
Shifting obsessions,
fallacy of self control,
the scale controls me.
The Burial
For eighteen years
Breathing was not without
Joy pouring out
Too loudly in
Frenzied conversation.
Interruption –
Need’s release.
Thoughts married to
My urgent vocalizer
Passion surges out
Tongue alive
Lips move
Frenzied thoughts released
THISISME.
Gelatinous organ now
PRESSES
What’s Left of my porcelain shell.
Till furrowed brows
Almost reveal…
But no,
The Right one,
Is the gooey gatekeeper of
My vociferation.
Later they’ll find
Scratch marks inside
My ovaloid coffin.
Stew
I have a polar mind,
But that does not mean two.
My brain’s not half and half.
It’s more a feelings-stew.
-LRose
Trust
I Trust too easy.
In elementary school I gave away the brownie mom packed for me, if someone asked.
The kids learned to ask.
In middle school they called me a pushover.
This was my first epiphany.
In college they called me a slut because, I let boys sleep with me.
If they wanted to, why not?
Now I am a nurse, they pay me for my trust.
They trust me because
I trust easily.
Empathy
(Prompt: The year is 2076. You have just learned that the newly elected president is not a human, and you are the only person who knows)
“I’m not human.” Said the president.
“So your birth certificate is forged?” I asked.
He sighs.
“You have to pretend to be human to be accepted in this world.” I said as I opened my kit. “Now hold still this time, you’re worse then the toddler I just saw.” I applied silver to his leg wound and applied a fresh coat of skin. I never asked how he was injured.
As I stood up I straightened my uniform and headed out the door.
“Goodnight Nurse Ruth” he said.
“Goodnight President Trump.” I said.
panic
The panic dread,
Go ahead.
you think it will leave you?
to rest in peace?
give into,
The Panic Release.
-LRose
Dipped
She dipped her toes
Into the stout
Put one foot in
Then took it out
But when she dipped
Her body in
her apathy
Turned joyful sin
Now small fingers
Are all you see
Because she drowned
In fantasy
-LRose
Scream
Deserted swing,
A pendulum.
Windless day’s
Silent metronome.
But for the scream –
Metal hooks on metal.
Years of
Delighted shrieks
Echo back as
Sirens screeching.
Abandoned park’s
Eternal wail.
I Wore White
I wore white.
Impressive interview.
As usual.
I make them laugh and laugh.
My patient told me, “you are great at what you do.”
A patient.
Drugs and rope, his ticket in.
Two hundred and fifty pounds lost to a shower rod.
The nurses laugh.
Can’t cope.
Weak and stupid,
Can’t kill himself right.
Not his first time
In hospital restraints.
I didn’t say,
I ate my pills for breakfast and
hid my demon today.
I didn’t say,
I’m glad my dad failed,
in the garage.
I didn’t say,
He’s too smart to
Kill himself right.
Code blue came to us,
Exsanguinating
Most experienced,
I led the team.
I didn’t say,
I once had a ticket.
I wore white.
-LRose
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